On pacifiers:
1st child- Sterilize upon opening and every other time pacifier is dropped from baby's mouth.
2nd child- Sterilize upon opening and wash when dropped from mouth.
3rd child- Suck clean upon opening. Wash when visibly dirty. Suck clean when no visible dirt.
4th child- Pop in straight from package. Pick off visible dirt. Follow 3 second rule all other times.
On crying in the car:
1st child- Pull over and nurse to comfort.
2nd child- Reach back and pop in paci while driving. Speak words of comfort.
3rd child- Drive faster. Have older siblings pop in paci. Speak words of frustration.
4th child- Turn up radio.
On nursing:
1st child- Prepare sanctuary with nursing pillow, foot rest and cold drink. Sit and gaze in baby's eyes while feeding.
2nd child- Sit down to nurse. Ask toddler to bring you pillow, foot rest and cold drink. Be happy with lukewarm drink. Out of a sippy cup. Explain the lactation process again. And again. And again.
3rd child- Sit down to nurse. Referee 3 fights. Hold nursing baby in one hand while chasing disobedient toddler.
4th child- Prepare sanctuary with sleeping pillow and locked door. Lie down and gaze into eyelids while feeding.
On Bedtime:
1st child- Nighttime ritual consists of soothing bath, gently brushing not-yet-formed teeth, lullabies in rocking chair and Mommy and Daddy mutually laying in crib.
2nd child- Nighttime ritual consists of splashing bath, forcing open toddler's mouth to brush teeth, completely forgetting about not-yet-formed teeth in infant's mouth, lullabies in bed and Mommy/Daddy switch-off for prayers and kisses.
3rd child- Nighttime ritual consists of skipping baths to get to the bed part, doing the 15 second brush to get to the bed part, big brother can sing lullabies, and Daddy does prayers and kisses while Mommy runs outside and screams.
4th child- Nighttime ritual consists of DIY showers (yeah!), DIY toothbrushing (yeah!), DIY pjs (yeah!), skipped lullabies as they inevitably turn into "poop" songs, and Mommy tries to calm down kids that Daddy insists on wrestling with.
Monday, January 07, 2008
The Differences Between One and Four
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6 comments:
OMG this is HILARIOUS!!! I love it! Just the laugh I need on this Monday morning.
I only have 2 so far, but I already practice many of the aforementioned methods. :D
First-time mothering is wonderful, but holy buckets the stress and the worry and the constant doubt!
discipline-
1st- totally consistent
2nd- let a few things slip, but overall consistent
3rd- Meghan.......says it all.
4th- "I'll deal w/it later" 5 years and still saying that.
egads what does that say about me when "On crying in the car" for my first I do the "4th child" routine.....I guess it would help to explain that I work in Detroit and pulling over to comfort would just be unsafe.
He he he! That is funny, and so accurate. The poor first child always gets the shaft, huh? Mine does anyway. The "experimental" child.
Ha ha ha! I've always said I'd better stick with just the one baby since I'm already on 3rd baby mentality - I'm afraid if I have another I'll give it to the cat to raise :)
Ha! Ha! I only have 3, so I think my 3rd child is actually a fourth - if this list here is accurate... :)
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