The Family Bed

We ordered a new bed last week. We bought a king-sized memory foam bed. The sales lady and her brochures touted the magic of visco-elastic foam. "It's designed by NASA and recommended by 1 out of 4 chiropractors." But Dave wasn't interested in any of that. He remembered the commercial where the glass of wine was on one side, and the lady was jumping on the other side without the wine spilling(b/c we all know we have to be able to do that in bed). He wanted to know one thing. Would he really be able to sleep through the kids climbing in and out of our bed all night.

We didn't really set out to be a family bed family. I wasn't even familiar with the term until 2 years ago. I always nursed the babies in bed, but assumed as toddlers they would sleep in their own beds. Now, I must say, we do start them in their own beds every night. But somehow, about 4 nights a week, we end up with 1, 2 or even all 3 in bed with us. Neither of us really mind. It's kind of nice waking up to snuggly little warm bodies. But, it's been a tight squeeze the last few months, thus the upgrade to king sized.

It started with T, when she was little. She was never a good sleeper. She nursed until 17 1/2 months, at which time I was 8 months pregnant with C. I was too exhausted with pregnancy and the other 2 to really help her transition into her own bed full time. So, after I weaned her, I just let her come into bed with us whenever she cried. Since the new baby was a great sleeper, I thought I would just give her a few months and then set my foot down. After a few months, and T showing no signs of wanting to sleep on her own, Dave said it was time. This was mainly due to the fact that she would wake up screaming 3-4 times a night, kick and hit him, and basically demand that he leave "her bed." For some reason, she just didn't like to wake up next to daddy.

Now, I'm a pretty strong willed chick, and I can really dig my heels in when I want to. But T, she is made of steel. Remember, she was only just 2 at the time, and she absolutely went balistic when we told her she had to stay in her own bed all night. She was in a full-blown headbanging stage and would bang her head over and over on her door. This was usually 2 am or so, and Dave had to get up around 5:30 at the time. So, for the first few days, I would lie down with her in her bead. But b/c I was still getting up nursing the baby 3 times or so a night, I was none to happy with this arrangement. After several weeks of making no progress at all with T, and realizing that I just didn't have her willpower any longer, we decided to let her keep sleeping with us, as long as she started in her own bed. This worked well for quite a few months.

Then, out of the blue, A started coming into bed with us too! He was 3 1/2 at the time, and had been sleeping on his own for years. It was so weird, but we rolled over and made room. Every few weeks we would tell the kids it was time for them to start sleeping alone. It would work for awhile, then Dave would go out of town, and they would be back with me.

Now, with the traumatic paci removal of last week, baby makes number 5 in our bed. I always seem to be the one with the least amount of space. I'm usually trying to contort my body on the very edge of the bed, so the little ones don't fall off. One night, I fell out after I was pushed by someone's little feet. The last few nights, I've been lining up the kids next to daddy, and sleeping on the other side of the bed. That works fine until I get a 5 yr old's foot in my crotch. Not fun.

There are people who plan on having a family bed. They don't even start the kids in their own beds. Mommy, Daddy and kids all go to bed together and don't miss any precious bonding time. Personally, I am at a loss to see how they manage more than one child, but I'm guessing the couch has something to do with it.

So, now we're waiting on the delivery of our new gigantic bed. Of course, there won't be room for us to walk in our bedroom, but Dave says jumping over the bed to get to the closet will be good exercise. And there will be plenty of room for all of us to get comfortable. I'm just hoping the kids didn't see the promotional video and start balancing sippy cups on it.